Embrace your Rebound Phase: a well-needed distraction
As mentioned in my previous story, this quarantine season 2 found me ready to brainstorm by myself and write down some thoughts I might need to get back to later. So here I am again, sharing a perspective I didn’t know I had.
My Midnight Quarantine Tales
Getting out of a commitment; need an alternative/replacement?
When getting out of a commitment — be it a professional/personal relationship or even a simple compromise — all we need is some time to ourselves. We need some time to count our blessings & losses and basically realize that it’s time to move forward. Yeah, this phase sounds quite simple, but we all know it’s not: it’s time-consuming and not pleasant. The power of habit is there to keep you chained to the past- you’ve just lost sth which you were greatly related, linked, or used to. Even if it was meant to finish, and even if it is or should not be affecting you, you still need to recover and think of ways to find an alternative; how will you replace it? Or actually…let’s think a bit deeply… does it need to be replaced?!
The rebound term
To be clear, in this story I’ll be using the term “rebound” to refer to any distraction/compromise that would help one get out of a painful situation. Let’s say I see it as a transitioning phase one has to go through. Not targeting specifically the “romantic nature” of the term. A rebound can be considered a new entry you’re not sure about in your love life, a new job you wouldn’t apply for unless in extreme need or panic, a dirty house with annoying flatmates you would move in just to save some money, etc. I could list more but not gonna bother now. All of those are rebounds I had to go for and I’m happily waving at you from my rebound phase (the not so dark side).
And here comes the rebound term; people tend to look for a “rebound” to avoid going through a rough situation. A rebound is supposed to get you out of your misery- of course, temporarily. But is it worth your time if it’s only a temporary thing?
Compromising: the Master of Puppets
I’m sure you’ve once or twice in your lifetime found yourself committing or, let’s better say, compromising to a situation you wouldn’t otherwise. In fact, nobody forces us to do so, but I believe that it somehow comes out as a psychological need. And this “need” knows when it’s the perfect time to show up. It’s like it’s there as a predetermined cure or maybe self-defense. Once again, the power of habit decides to work with security/stability and take the lead of our thoughts and actions. I’m telling you it works, and we don’t even realize it. These powers combined are the greatest Masters of Puppets.
So yeah, Master of Puppets (singing this one this time).
But is getting into a rebound phase necessarily a bad thing? I wouldn’t say so. In fact, if one is strong enough to recognize the rebound phase, then it can’t be anything but a positive step to climb onto. What I mean is that a rebound could be a closed-door, opening to sth better. So why miss the chance to see what’s behind?
Rebound; psychological distraction, maybe?
Moreover, a rebound could also be a very much-needed psychological distraction, and yes, it feels good. In this case, we’re usually able to recognize that we’re committing to sth new while trying, of course, to get away from sth old or lost that’s still haunting us. Even that way, it can still be a positive experience. One might get to know themselves better and figure out what to do next. Make mistakes and learn from them.
Use your rebound phase wisely
However, if simply compromising to sth, then what’s important here is to know when to leave; to know when it’s time to reach out for sth better. Attention; when it comes to personal relationships, under no circumstances am I saying you should use a person to get over another. I’m referring to learning how to “use” or “adapt” to a stressful or even unpleasant situation for your own good; learn to transit, even if you have to commit to sth lower or worse than you expected or had planned. Be open to what the future holds for you.
So yeah, the rebound phase for me is nothing but a motivation to grow further. It makes things easier, it helps you experiment and eventually learn what you like and what you don’t; in the end, it might end up leading to a better plan than the “plan A” we always have in mind.
Lastly, to bring it into the quarantine context we’re currently in, a rebound could be anything that offers a simple pleasure or distraction - even if it’s not what we initially aimed for! Don’t overthink, don’t expect everything to be perfect, be creative, let yourself go, and accept the things you cannot change ;) Destigmatize the term “rebound”; it’s high time to. There has to be a step towards sth better.